Ups and Downs, Ups and Downs

Ivelisse and Jose's House

They love to feed us a lot!

March 30, 2010
Dear Friends and Fam,

Can I just start off by saying this has been the most rapid and wild week of my mission. Sister Barnhurst and I have been dragged through quite the list of loops and turns. We have had some really good times and some really bad. It would be rather complicated to detail so I will briefly summarize that some of our investigators slipped away and disappeared. Ivelisse and Jose rashly decided that they wanted to be baptized right now, this week. And just as hurriedly and hastily as we had to set it all up, we had to cancel it all hours before. Baptisms should be more like marriages-- not elopements.

I am exhausted, but surprisingly not discouraged. I feel a calm peace that with time all will work out. I feel like the goals we set, the plans we made, and the events that have taken place are all for a reason. Vamos a proceder con calma.

Lately we have been spending a lot of time with our investigator, Hilda. I am not sure I told you about her before but she is the sweetest lady on the planet. She lives alone in some apartments near our house and was a referral from her brother who is a member in Humacao. She has great faith in Christ and believes that this is the one true church because she just feels a different peace when she is with members of the church, but yet I am still nervous for her. She has little to no testimony of the Book of Mormon and Joseph Smith. Those are critical foundations. I am not sure what to do because every time I emphasize reading and praying to know that the Book of Mormon is true she assures me that she already knows this is the true church. She also does not understand the gift of the Holy Ghost. She insists that Christ would never abandon her, the already has Him in her life as a constant companion. I need guidance from the Lord.

Regardless, she has the kindest heart and has adopted us as her grandchildren in the gospel. She treats thinks we are the cutest little nuns and she loves to spoil us. She always buys us ice-cream or other little treats. Last night she invited us to stay up late watching a christian movie and spend the night at her apartment. She was devastated when we told her that we couldn't. However, she did take us shopping this morning. We went to JCPenny's and she told us she would buy us a skirt or a dress. She was really excited. I am very grateful, but let me tell you that was a stressful experience for me. I did not feel comfortable spending her money and I could not find anything missionary appropriate that I liked (also, lamentably, my waistline has expanded and fashionable hemlines have not gotten any longer since I left). All of this stress was crammed into an hour time limit. That activity really did not fit my personality. Sister Barnhurst on the other had loved it and made up for all the money I could not spend. Amazing how our lives can be exactly parallel and yet we have completely different perspectives.

I feel that I am slowly becoming a better and more submissive servant of the Lord. Submission has definitely been hard for me. I was reading recently in 3 Nefi about the Nefitas who set their hearts on the vain things of the world. That is certainly one of my weaknesses and I think it always will be something I will have to suppress and struggle with. But I am so humbled to see the inspiring and selfless examples all around me. I have thought a lot about how much of myself has been left in the past and yet how firmly I have fought to hold on. The Lord is slowly but surely humbling me and molding this hard clay from a woman of the world to full time servant of the Lord. Why do I fight to hold onto myself? Why do a resist to have Him scrape down my shell when the layer beneath will only reveal more of His light in my countenance? Isn't Christ's personality better than my own? Why do I resist?

Before I go any further I have to let it out. KERI LYNN NELSON get out of town!!!!!! Awesome news. I was so excited. I was driving when my companion opened the letter. I wish I had a video of when she read the letter. It was certainly more animated than when I read my call. I started screaming I couldn't keep it in. Spanish speaking! and every Guatemalan I have ever met is so sweet and humble! I couldn't keep it in! That was a definite high of the week. OMW we have to do a Christmas card of all 6 of us . I am already planning. How great will that be! We will all be separated in different parts of the world but I still feel so close to all of you. All of you Ash, Emily, Keri, Anne, Chelsea you really inspire me and humble me. Keri you are going to be a great missionary. I sit here wondering what are you even going to struggle with? You are so much farther ahead and better prepared and focused than I have ever been. AHHHHHHHH (Chelsea style)

I love you all and pray for you often!
Hermana Palmer
Really I love you all.

A milestone week

 Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Dear Family and Friends,

Well, it seems like a lot has been happening at home. I am glad to be kept up to date. Wow! Anne put in her papers! I am amazed! That is so great. I didn't know that she was even thinking about it. I am so proud of Shannon King! It sounds like he was one of the great missionaries. There are good missionaries and there are great missionaries. I really admire the great ones although they are fewer. I hope that I can become a great missionary. I know that I am definitely not there yet.

Well, this week I hit two milestones that I never thought would come. 1) I now officially like flan. It is so good! I never thought I would come to that point. And 2) I successfully used the past subjunctive tense this week. HOORAY!!!! I NEVER, NEVER thought I would see the day!

Also, can I once again re-iterate that I hate cockroaches. Yesterday was a really hard day. One of those days that I just wanted to zombie-walk back to my apartment. Hit the pillow and put that day in the past. Well, apparently I wasn't the only one who wanted to crawl into bed. When I walked into my room there was a big fattie cockroach just chillin' on my pillow! Gross. Threw the pillow off the bed (screaming of course) and Sister Barnhurst sprayed it to its death. Ugh. Man, that cockroach really threw off my relaxing plans for the evening.

Mom. You asked how I keep cool here. Let me tell you I have developed quite the process. I come in from my morning exercise streaming sweat. I turn on the fan in my bedroom on high and open all the window so that it cools while I take a cold shower. Change back into my cooler shorts and light T-shirt. I return to the room plop myself in from of the fan on HIGH and blow-dry my hair (I haven't given that up yet. I am really stubbornly clinging to that one). Afterwards I was my face again to remove the sweat. Put on the moisturizing sunscreen and sit in front of the fan once again until that dries. I wear men's deodorant because it lasts a lot longer. Put my make-up on in front of the fan. Once I am done there, I move the fan into the front room by the window to bring in fresh air. Change into proselyte clothes. And do my studies in front of the fan to avoid perspiring while reading the scriptures. Really it makes me laugh how much time I spend in front of the fan in the morning.

This week the Lord has taught me a lot about the trials of life. Quite honestly, I have lived an easy life. I have a family who loves me, a father who provides, the guidance of the gospel. I have a lot to be grateful for. Sister Barnhurst and I got "dumped on" a lot this week. Getting "dumped on' is quite common in missionary work. It seemed that at nearly all of our appointments (both people we knew and complete strangers) we would come in; sit down, and they would spill all of their life's problems on us. I learned a lot this week. Marriage problems, financial crisis, abandonment, abuse. Everything. Honestly it makes me sad that I can't really help these people with their temporal problems. I can offer them the gospel, but it is even more devastating when they refuse to accept. I can see how happy they could be if only they would keep the commandments of God. But they cannot see that. I wish they could know what they are missing out on.

Teaching with Neysha Lespin

I love our investigators. Especially Ivelisse. She is certainly comparable to Maria Lydia. She has the biggest heart and just gives and gives. But she honestly has NOTHING. No money, no house, sometimes not even food, but she is determined to be strong. She really has sacrificed so much to come to church. To teach her grand-children the little bits that she has learned. She wants so badly to be baptized. I hope that in the future I can see her just as strong as Maria Lydia is now. Serving a couple mission. Both Ivelisse and Maria Lydia are angels in disguise.

On the other hand we have Luis. Who was also one of our progressing investigators. He was interesting to teach he accepted everything so openly, never questioned. Every opportunity to learn and attend church was just thrown into his lap. I was always nervous because he never questioned, never thought for himself. He never had to make a sacrifice. Now when Satan has come tempting he has flatly fallen away. I just can't help but think of the analogy of the tree that is grown in the shady and fertile garden. Water and sunlight are abundant and easy. Its roots remain shallow and weak. When the storm comes and the wind beats it will not survive, not having deep roots or strong timber to withstand the opposition. That is exactly Luis' situation. Unlike Ivelisse and Jose, he never learned to struggle and withstand. When hard times came he fell over flat.

Well, I think I have mostly rambled and soap-boxed today. I love you all so much and hope that you are digging roots deep in the gospel. Unfortunately, our testimonies grow by sacrifice. It is hard, but necessary.

Hermana Palmer
PS. Here is my Fajardo address for those who do not have it;
Urb. Santa Isidra Apartments
D-9 Calle 5 Apt 9
Fajardo, PR 00758

PSS Pday is Tuesday nest week (transfers)

PSSS Shout out to the roommates!!

fishing and fishers of men

March 17, 2010
Dear Family!

Sounds like you had a lot of fun this week with the movie night, Markie's trip to the ranch. Way fun. By the way, I was thinking about the Science class for summer term. It has a lot of Physics in it, which was easy for me since I took it in high-school, but it might be a little tricky for Markie. However, Steven Allen would be a great helper/tutor! I am sure that he would love to help if Markie could share her meal-plan a bit with him. ;D

Me, Joanne, and Sister Barnhurst

I got the letter from Keri and Emily! Thanks you guys so much! It really made me happy. I loved the pictures and decorating tips! I miss you all Keri, Emily, Ashley and Anne (and Rachel) so much!
Well Ivelisse, Jose and Bethzaida are continuing to progress wonderfully! They are so sweet. Once again I was blown away at the tithing lesson. They accepted the commitment to pay tithing without hesitation. I am flabbergasted at their faith and generosity. I know that the Lord has prepared them just as he did with Ricardo to live this essential commandment. I am astonished.

The only concern I have with them is that Ivelisse and Jose are considering moving to Rio Grande which will split up the family as Bethzaida and her girls will remain in our ward boundaries. Bethzaida will not be able to drive to church, not control her girls on her own. She really needs support from Ivelisse and Jose. So, I am sure we will be counseling with both the branch and mission president on the best way to handle that one. As complicated as everything is, I know that there is a purpose behind it. I know the Lord will provide a way, even if this family is broken up. Please pray for them.

We are also teaching another young man named Luis. He is very diligent in reading, praying, and he loves church. He is a very good person and has great standards. At this point he does not fully understand the restoration. It is very hard for people to grasp that there is only ONE true church. But it is so key. Monday, we invited him to a FHE about the restoration. We watched the movie and then each of us bore our testimony of Joseph Smith, including Luis. It may come slowly, but I know that as Luis continues to read and pray about the Book of Mormon his testimony will gradually come.

Also I had a real vocabulary-expanding experience. Our car got hit in a parking lot so I got to learn all of the Spanish vocabulary that goes with having an accident. Our car only got scratched and it wasn't severe but there was a lot of paperwork. I will admit it was really hard for me. That is an uncomfortable situation for me in English, much less Spanish. We had to drive down to the Police department to fill out a report because in Puerto Rico it takes too long for the police to come to you. I learned all sorts of words like insurance, license plate, etc. I had to make a few phone calls that I flat-out could not understand what the person was saying. I called 4 times and each time the man gave some gibberish reply and then got impatient with me and hung up. So yesterday at zone conference I had to ask a fluent elder to make the call for me. It was very nice of him.

This week I did a lot of reflecting on the good old days of fishing with my Dad. I have never liked fishing. You roast in the sun all day, avoiding temptation to eat junk food, and just wait all day with your line in the water. You have to put nasty worms on the hook and all the trivial and mundane tasks of casting and recasting your line until your arm is sore. Usually you come home at the end of the day "skunked" as Dad would say and talk about all the "good ones that got way".

You know, it is interesting that missionaries are called fishers of men. I can definitely see some parallels. There are a lot of days that we roast in the sun and come home "skunked". But I ask myself what is the difference? Why do I like missionary work? I do so many tasks I have always hated, phone calls, last minute change of plans (that is the hardest for me) and all day asking people for help. What is the difference?

The Lord is on my side. I can testify that I have seen miracles, however great or small. The Lord does prepare his people and it is such a joy to see His children changes there lives. To hear their prayers as the gradually change from nervous recitations to sincere conversations with their Maker. To watch their faces transform from wrinkled, worried expressions to smiles that reflect and emanate the joy that can only come from the gospel of Jesus Christ.

In the end, it is all worth it just to see the one great catch.

I am so happy to be a missionary and I am so grateful for the opportunity I have been given to help God's children come unto him.

I love you all so much and look forward to hearing from you.

Hermana Palmer

Old San Juan

March 10, 2010

Wow! Those pictures Hillary took are really cute! I love the one of Markie on the road! Also I am SOOOO jealous of you. What could be better than watching Project Runway with Lauren and Stacey? I can't even fathom how much I would enjoy that. You can send pictures of all the episodes you want. I love the fashion more than the characters. Speaking of, I am so excited for the Easter skirt. This morning I stared at my closet for a really long time before finally settling on yet another outfit I feel like I just wore yesterday. But I have happily followed the counsel of President Ostler and have reintroduced accessories into my life. I am happy once again. Life is so much better when you have at least one article of clothing than indicates you are a woman.

As for ideas on the Creation, I would recommend the talk given by President Uchtdorf in the General Relief Society Meeting in October. He talks about the wonderful ability we all have to create. It might at least spark some ideas.

I am getting my hair done today by a former investigator, Felicia. Hermana Barnhurst taught her before and Felicia cut her hair for a good price. She is the top hair stylist in Fajardo (she was chosen to represent the district in some competition) and so I am hoping and praying she will be good. I am nervous to use anyone other than Kathy. Felicia wants to be baptized, but her husband is in opposition. Apparently he has ripped up 3 books of Mormon and her study journal. However, Felicia assured us that she hid the last Book of Mormon in a really good spot. Anyways, this will be a good opportunity to visit her at her work.

Hermana Barnhurst and Morgan

Hermana Monica Garcia took us to Old San Juan last week. It was literally a blur. We only have from 11-6 to do shopping, email, laundry and whatever other activities we can fit in, so you can imagine, with the hour and a half traffic each way to San Juan we were running the whole day. But I loved it! We visited the Fort of course and el paseo de Princessa which is just a lovely little path with fountains and sculptures right by the water's edge. Monica also bought us liberal amounts of "typical Puerto Rican food" which consists of all things fried. Fried Potatoes and beef, fried crab, fried plantains, and fried fish. Grotesquely unhealthy. I made Sister Barnhurst eat most of it.

Monica is fun. She loves to talk and talk so she made a great tour guide.

Oh my heavens, we are teaching the sweetest family ever! There is a couple Ivelisse and Jose and their daughter-in-law, Bethzaida who all live together. Bethzaida has three adorable little girls but her husband, Ivelisse and Jose's son has left them. They are the sweetest, most humble and generous people I know. Ivelisse and Jose are so tender and sweet to one another. They love doing things together and always serve one another. Ivelisse bought Hermana Barnhurst and me each bracelets and jewelry and I think she is planning to buy us big purses to replace our back-packs. She promised us that as soon as they can buy furniture, they will have us over for dinner. They are SOOOOO sweet.

And they are so prepared for the gospel. It is so funny to see the Lord's hand in the work. Really, He is the only one who has the power to prepare people to receive the gospel. Without him, the missionaries can do nothing. Ivelisse had just packed up her Book of Mormon into storage a few hours earlier when Hermana Barnhurst and Warwood showed up on her door.

Ivelisee is such a good mother. She is really shepherding her family to the Lord. She has been practicing and teaching her husband and daughter-in-law to pray. Her love of the Lord has really spread to the other members of the family. They are all reading the Book of Mormon faithfully. And the excitement this week is that we gave them each their own progress record which has all the lessons they need before they can be baptized. They love checking off the boxes and counting how many are left after each time we visit. They are really excited for their baptism at the end of this month and they each have such beautiful and sincere testimonies. There is such a difference in their faces and countenances. Bethzaida and Ivelisse are giving up coffee and Jose smoking. They are so resolute; we haven't had any problems yet. Jose fasted on Sunday for help to quit smoking. I can't even describe to you how wonderful they are.

Well, I love you all. I am so grateful for the patience and love the Lord has shown me and I pray every day that I can become a better servant in His hands.

\

Morgan, Cousin Tanya Crane ( who is also serving a mission
in  Berlin Germany) and Markie
in Old San Juan Puerto Rico, 2001 or 2002?

I finally got your letters!!!

Olivia Gardner, Sarah Toller, Markie Palmer, Arizona Jr. Miss 2010

March 3, 2010
Oh my heavens, its sounds like you are all having a blast back home. Congrats Markie on AJM! It sounds like you had a lot of fun! Your two appearances on the DVD are so fitting! I am so glad you are buying the DVD. By the way, tell Sarah congratulations too! She is so great. She has always been one of my favorites!

Markie, Morgan, Olivia and Sarah, attending Morgan's Arizona Jr. Miss 2007

Also, congratulations on getting accepted to BYU for fall! Enjoy summer term! It is so fun! You should take easy classes like Science 100 with Skinner or Biology with Robinson. Those would be a breeze. Also, do me a favor and don't take Book of Mormon part 2 yet. I haven't taken it. We can take it together when we get back!

I can't believe Courtney is going to the Baltic area. Wow, that will be a huge culture shock! She is going to love it.

Keep the dresses just sew on a nice trim. Joanns has a great variety, you might be suprised. Tack on a nice zebra trim of something, I don't know.

Wow, I have heard only bits and peices about the earthquake in Chile. I was worried, but didn't realize the effects spread so far. I am glad that Daniela is ok. do you know anything about Marisol?

Well, the mission is going quite well. This part week has been SOOOOO hot. Even more than normal. I stand in any kind of shade I can find, the shadow of a light pole, a single palm frond, whatever I can find. Last night, I forgot to move the fan back into the bedroom before I went to bed. We get to use the AC for an hour, but it definitely does not last through the night. I woke up at about 2 in the morning coated in sweat. I was like a pastry glased with butter. It was disgusting. By the time I moved the fan back into the room and turned it on I was streaming sweat-- not dripping--streaming.

I have been focusing this week on not striving for perfection. I just need to relax. I feel like there are always so many things going through my head. There are so many things we are asked to do: testify, ask for referals, listen to the spirit, talk to everyone, look professional, don't be late to anything, contact investigators daily, teach clearly and simplly, listen to your investigators, guide the lesson, call appointments in advance... the list is literally endless. And I finally realized I can't do it all. My leaders may expect me to do all of these things, but the only thing that the Lord asks is that I do my best. I definitely fell like a beginner on my mission. I mess-up alot. But, my intentions are good and every day I am improving.

My companion is fun. She does not worry about those things. This week we went on a fun adventure. Since we live about three minutes away from the beach, we decided to get up early and watch the sunrise. I took my little bowl of oatmeat and we drove our car out to the Marina and enjoyed the view. It was so beautiful. The sun was so red and it was fun to just watch the little boats cruising about in the ocean. I really enjoyed doing something a little different.

Also, this week for service we helped a single mom in the ward do her visiting teaching. She felt overwhelmed because most people on her list are in-actives she doesn't know and she did not want to go by herself. I learned a little bit about visiting teaching in Puerto Rico. Most people mail the relief society lesson to their visiting teachee's or shove the paper under the door even to the active members that they know. Seriously? Why bother? The purpose of visiting teaching is not the warm-fuzzy message printed in the Ensign. It is the friendshipping adn fellowshipping. I am convinced that if everyone member did their visiting teaching, built those friendships, found out their visiting teachee's needs there would not be half the inactivity in the ward. Visiting teaching is one of the most critical callings in the ward!!! I know I must repent, I was not the best visitng teacher when I was at BYU, but I am making the commitment to change now. People, do your visiting and home teaching!

Well, I have to go. We are headed to Old San Juan this afternoon! I love you all. I love this gospel and the Plan that the Lord has for each of us.

Hermana Palmer