Ups and Downs, Ups and Downs

Ivelisse and Jose's House

They love to feed us a lot!

March 30, 2010
Dear Friends and Fam,

Can I just start off by saying this has been the most rapid and wild week of my mission. Sister Barnhurst and I have been dragged through quite the list of loops and turns. We have had some really good times and some really bad. It would be rather complicated to detail so I will briefly summarize that some of our investigators slipped away and disappeared. Ivelisse and Jose rashly decided that they wanted to be baptized right now, this week. And just as hurriedly and hastily as we had to set it all up, we had to cancel it all hours before. Baptisms should be more like marriages-- not elopements.

I am exhausted, but surprisingly not discouraged. I feel a calm peace that with time all will work out. I feel like the goals we set, the plans we made, and the events that have taken place are all for a reason. Vamos a proceder con calma.

Lately we have been spending a lot of time with our investigator, Hilda. I am not sure I told you about her before but she is the sweetest lady on the planet. She lives alone in some apartments near our house and was a referral from her brother who is a member in Humacao. She has great faith in Christ and believes that this is the one true church because she just feels a different peace when she is with members of the church, but yet I am still nervous for her. She has little to no testimony of the Book of Mormon and Joseph Smith. Those are critical foundations. I am not sure what to do because every time I emphasize reading and praying to know that the Book of Mormon is true she assures me that she already knows this is the true church. She also does not understand the gift of the Holy Ghost. She insists that Christ would never abandon her, the already has Him in her life as a constant companion. I need guidance from the Lord.

Regardless, she has the kindest heart and has adopted us as her grandchildren in the gospel. She treats thinks we are the cutest little nuns and she loves to spoil us. She always buys us ice-cream or other little treats. Last night she invited us to stay up late watching a christian movie and spend the night at her apartment. She was devastated when we told her that we couldn't. However, she did take us shopping this morning. We went to JCPenny's and she told us she would buy us a skirt or a dress. She was really excited. I am very grateful, but let me tell you that was a stressful experience for me. I did not feel comfortable spending her money and I could not find anything missionary appropriate that I liked (also, lamentably, my waistline has expanded and fashionable hemlines have not gotten any longer since I left). All of this stress was crammed into an hour time limit. That activity really did not fit my personality. Sister Barnhurst on the other had loved it and made up for all the money I could not spend. Amazing how our lives can be exactly parallel and yet we have completely different perspectives.

I feel that I am slowly becoming a better and more submissive servant of the Lord. Submission has definitely been hard for me. I was reading recently in 3 Nefi about the Nefitas who set their hearts on the vain things of the world. That is certainly one of my weaknesses and I think it always will be something I will have to suppress and struggle with. But I am so humbled to see the inspiring and selfless examples all around me. I have thought a lot about how much of myself has been left in the past and yet how firmly I have fought to hold on. The Lord is slowly but surely humbling me and molding this hard clay from a woman of the world to full time servant of the Lord. Why do I fight to hold onto myself? Why do a resist to have Him scrape down my shell when the layer beneath will only reveal more of His light in my countenance? Isn't Christ's personality better than my own? Why do I resist?

Before I go any further I have to let it out. KERI LYNN NELSON get out of town!!!!!! Awesome news. I was so excited. I was driving when my companion opened the letter. I wish I had a video of when she read the letter. It was certainly more animated than when I read my call. I started screaming I couldn't keep it in. Spanish speaking! and every Guatemalan I have ever met is so sweet and humble! I couldn't keep it in! That was a definite high of the week. OMW we have to do a Christmas card of all 6 of us . I am already planning. How great will that be! We will all be separated in different parts of the world but I still feel so close to all of you. All of you Ash, Emily, Keri, Anne, Chelsea you really inspire me and humble me. Keri you are going to be a great missionary. I sit here wondering what are you even going to struggle with? You are so much farther ahead and better prepared and focused than I have ever been. AHHHHHHHH (Chelsea style)

I love you all and pray for you often!
Hermana Palmer
Really I love you all.