Endure to the End

April 21, 2010
Dear Family

This week's theme was endure to the end. It has been emotionally GRUELING on both Hermana Barnhurst and I, but it has also been very bonding. We have had an unusual amount of rejection both in investigators and contacts, I am very frustrated with myself, and Hermana Barnhurst is combating homesickness and distraction as she will be ending her mission in June. We have really had to carry one another to get through many of the days. I am grateful for Hermana Barnhurst's generally light spirits. Nothing can make you happy quite like her Napoleon Dynamite dancing in the apartment after a long, hard day.

Dad, I loved your talk! I was just commenting to Hermana Barnhurst this very morning that we had lived in the ward for about 7 years and parents have only every given one talk. let me just brag for a moment. My Dad is a wonderful, wise man with a strong testimony! I am so grateful to have a dad like you! I loved your joke and statistical reports, they were very true to character. It was an amazing talk!

I gave a talk too this week. All of the missionaries in our ward spoke this week in fact. Both elders from Samoa, Elder Ceo-'ovai and Elder Matuatia and two American girls. The Spanish was rough. They members were very patient I don't know how well any of us communicated. I don't think my talk was quite as good as my dad's, but considering it was in a foreign language I thought it went rather well. It is much harder to be composed and carry your audience in a foreign language. I talked about how missionary work is like fishing, which I mentioned in my previous letter. I got lots of good comments from the members and especially the branch president. They especially loved that I actually wore fishing waders. Many members approached me afterwards to chat with me about river fishing, sea fishing, etc. Oh, dad I found you a few fishing buddies who would love to take you sea fishing.

Us with our favorite investigator:  Hilda Pellot

Other excitements of the week. Hilda dropped us and dropped us hard. She has decided that many of the members are rude and proud, that we are preaching false doctrine and that we should re-consider our mission and go home. The only way to describe that experience is emotionally draining. I did everything I know how to do for her. Everything. I know that I may not be a good missionary maybe I was too strong or not clear enough, but I did the very best I know how. It hurts very much to be rejected after you have given all of yourself to another person. But I must leave the matter now in the hands of the Lord. Perhaps later he will soften her heart of find another missionary who is a better match for her. Hilda has taken both of us, Hermana Barnhurst and I through a thrilling emotional rollercoaster.

I also found out that another of our investigators is epileptic. I was sitting next to Ivelisse in Principles of the Gospel when suddenly she turned to me and said "Hermana, no me siento bien." I then in a frightening moment saw her eyes zone out and her whole body began to shake. I had my arm around her shoulder and was able to support her until her husband could come over and hold her. For some reason I was not afraid. I just knew that needed to stay there until the seizure passed. I held onto her back as some other members ran to get the branch president and water. I know very little about medicine. I still don't know exactly how I should have handled the situation, but I am utter stunned at the peace I felt during that experience. I knew that everything was going to be ok and that I needed to stay put until it passed. As soon as the seizure was over Ivelisse looked at me and I knew she was back. I can not describe the love I felt for her at that moment. It was a very real and eye-opening experience. I could see for a moment the Christ bond that there is between myself and my investigators. It is very real, very strong and very special. We embraced and I could just feel so much love. That's why it hurts so much to be rejected and that's why it feels so good to make a difference. Ivelisse is doing much better know and is under the protecting watch of our Branch President who's wife is also epileptic. I feel that they will be watched and cared for. I am so grateful for the care and comfort of the spirit which I know protected and guided us all.

I am learning and growing so much everyday. Even if I am not the greatest missionary in the world I know that I will be a much better member of the church for the rest of my life. I love to see the life and example of the members. Each has their own burden and trial. If there is one thing I have learned as a missionary it is that life is not meant to be easy. As a missionary we really get a deeper view of the members and what they are going through and in the end I am astonished by their faith.

Hermanas at the Zone Meeting

I love you all and miss you so much! Markie have a fun weekend, Mom enjoy your trip and just enjoy the ride, because it is not going to be what you expect. Take lots of pictures of the tulips! Dad, take care of yourself and thank for the talk!
Hermana Palmer